for the weary

{for you and all of you.}

in that moment
(had i known you)
i'd have held you close,

let your tears water my heart,
as i whispered your worth to you

in a busy restaurant
by a demonstration
of black love.


wise women

{inspiration. something about her gaze...}

very few of us
say everything we know.

more disturbing
is your readiness
to [mis]take our silence
for vapidity.

you cannot profess to protect
what you do not understand.


for women who are 'difficult' to love

still in love with this.

if it's possible to have a theme-poem, i think this might be mine.
you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love. 
- Warsan Shire 


skittles & iced tea

brown boy
not even as big as the other kids

but still a threat to someone...

i can't say i'm trying to make sense of the incident.
i know why it makes "sense". 

if i'm trying to make sense of anything,
it's why we've come this far
to learn so little.

i've spent so much time
trying to get the black men in my presence to relax
even when i know why they can't.

stories like this unravel all my weaving.

i suppose we can only do
what we can
where we can.


hope for the best.


maybe more...


at the moment

yet again i dreamt of kissing a man i didn't really want.
not sure what that means.

energy's elusive

sick of drinking water
even though i'm sure it's making me less sick

and so on

i hope to be back in the swing of things very soon...