seeking:

the man
that looks past
my medicine;

the one
strong enough
to be the fire
in my hearth.

lab work

i've decided that i want my next writing project to be the last one for awhile.

meaning...i want to focus.

i've started many projects, but i don't know that i've ever finished anything beyond a short story.

i'd like to change that.

so while i'm gestating/formulating, this space may turn into a workshop brainstorm drawing board type thing.

i also have a creative playground to fool around in...that might be my primary tool to get the rivers flowing...

let's see what happens. 

current theme song:

fresh

new visions/dreams taking shape...

you can't stop my go...

want/need

longing for something sweet

sweet
...and lasting.

something
that lingers
in the back of the throat
like honey.

rain-refreshing,
sunlight life-giving,
mountain-awesome...

mmm hmm

love,
sugar.

just plain love.

dream house (napowrimo #13)

honeysuckle on the back fence;
rose bushes
lining the wrap-around porch...

wide, open rooms
full of windows
draped in pretty curtains
or maybe some plantation shades...

a bedroom
with french doors
and a california king bed
covered in pillows

overstuffed chairs
littered everywhere
for reading and napping...

a bathroom
with aquamarine tiles
and a mirror covered in seashells;
claw-foot tub with brass fixtures
alongside a crystal clear shower...

...and you
to share it with.

chant

you don't have to love me
just love my body
need me
like water
like water
drippin' like water

drink me
there is enough to quench any thirst
you've ever had

tease me
please me
please
i won't beg
...much more

gimme
gimme
gimme more
savory kisses 
sweet tongue flicks
turn sentences into stutters
with naughty whispered words

use me
for good or ill

all is fair, here, love

you don't have to love me
don't have to love me
just
need me
savor me
drink me
like water...

100 things

from: http://www.north-node.com/astrology-tutorials/eclipse

*The Solar Eclipse list*

You can do this anytime between the Solar Eclipse and the next Full Moon.

Take out a sheet of paper and a pen. Find yourself a nice quiet spot. On the paper, make a list of 100 things you want. Don't hold back! Don't let your inner voice tell you that you can't have it. It will be hard to think of things after the first 50, but keep at it. Be positive: "I will get a raise," not "I want a raise."

Example:

1. I will make some new friends.
2. I will have a beach named after me.
3. I will be my own boss.
4. I will save the whales.
5. I will have a new car.
6. I will have a Xena Warrior Princess doll.
7. My houseplants will live long and be green.

…and so on.

When you are finished, place your list in an envelope, seal it, write the date on it, and put it in a sacred place in your home. Or you could just bless it and stick it in a drawer. You have just asked for what you want.
 
This is how you plant seeds. After 1 year has passed, take out your list, and see which of these seeds have taken root in your life.

*The Lunar Eclipse meditation*:

You can do this anytime between the Lunar Eclipse and the next New Moon.

Same as the Solar Eclipse list, except this is a little harder. This time, think of the things in your life you would like to bring to a close, finish, or end. That contract you want to get signed, that job you want to finish. That guilty feeling. That unhealthy relationship. That nasty smoking habit.

Take some time to sit in a quiet space and breathe. Visualize the inner workings of that habit, the issue, the situation, as people. Give them names and faces! My addicted smoker and my inner doctor. My gentle self and my angry self. Visualize them each holding one end of a rope, like a tug of
war. They can see each other now, how can they better understand one another? How can they work together to achieve balance? Picture each one gently dropping their end of the rope.

You have just asked for assistance from the universe to clear out old energies and make room for the things you want to bring in. There is great power in this request.

reasonable silence

i've been more concerned with experience than words. i'm ruled by my senses...the touch, feel, taste of things.

when i'm thrust into something new, i have to feel my way through. my capabilities for speech are diminished during the adjustment period.

i have only been able to write enough to achieve understanding of the reasons that i am not writing--if that makes sense.

my exposure to him is probably a factor as well.
our experience of each other is largely one of pure sensory overload. his presence is catalytic...

among other things.

anyway...
the moon is waxing. seeds are growing.
hope you've got a bountiful harvest to celebrate once she's full.

goodnight, moon...

it must be past my bedtime...

i need to rest, but i'd also like to travel.

drift into another level of being, something simultaneously separate from and intermingled with my self.

wander through rich, jewel toned dreams full of sweetness, kissed by the breezes outside my window.

maybe i'll get to fly.

those kinds of dreams need a soundtrack--stairstep voices facilitating travel between visions. sound and symbolism.

or maybe an old fashioned feather bed...high off the ground, set in mahogany, draped in snowy gossamer sheets of cotton and silk embroidered pillowcases. situated in an eastern bedroom filled with morning sun that eases through delicate french doors.

what would it mean to be wrapped in strong, brown arms on that morning, in that room, in that bed, after those dreams?