idea #48 - host a potluck

...folks love food!

idea # 10 - learn the meaning of your name.

i've recently renewed my interested in this, and just read imakhu mwt shekemet's thoughts on it in her cowrie blessings book.  recently, a friend mentioned the revelation she had when learning about a new meaning of her name.  must be in the air.

here are a few links to get you started:

name meanings

namesite {various african names}

behind the name

akan day names

yoruba names

egun

the ancestors are close...whispering, nudging, laughing, playing...

i am, all at once, grateful and curious about what they have to share with me...my great grandmother, especially.

i only know her through photos and my mother's stories, although my great aunt looks a lot like her.  she was gone a full 15 years or so before i entered the world.

to me, she's been a sweet presence with a wind-chime laugh, smiling through dreams and waking visions.  and it seems she is part of the crew ushering me into this next phase of life. 

it's her recipe my mother uses for the christmas rolls. although they're always delicious, she says they never come out quite like nanny's. 

she helped with my biscuits last night. they're delicious. i will remember the technique. 

afterwards, i wondered how often she'd guided me around the kitchen...if her chicken-raising in the basement somehow girded my spirit against squeamishness during sacrifice.

her presence reminds me of the long absence of her oldest daughter - my grandmother.  she has been on the other side nearly 30 years now, but it feels like she never really left me.

i knew her briefly. my only memory is of hands the color of old ivory - hands i apparently share, albeit in a deeper caramel - and snatches of a voice. i do not remember the distinctive laugh my mother says she is slowly forgetting.

maybe if i mix her favorite drink, she'll whisper a hello...

birthday (napowrimo #24)

for s.i.m.

one day
they brought home
a big, wiggly baby boy.

...and the chubby cheeked goon
had the nerve to take over.

i had been
usurped.

he bored me for awhile
but before i knew it
he could walk and talk.

then, wrestling was fun.
so was making him cry.

...but that was my sole privilege.
anyone else who tried
got the evil eye.

more time passes
and i come to appreciate
the sweetness in baby brothers
grown into young men.

who knew
an occurrence so annoying
could turn out to be
a blessing.

tell mama the truth

no, i'm not warm enough.
and i didn't have enough to eat.

i did brush my teeth
and put on clean underwear
...that's the easy part.

but i don't know where i'm going
and i'm not ok...

yeah, i need the money
no, i won't ask.
i'm enough trouble
already

don't mean to lie,
i'm just not worth the worry.

you're sweet to ask,
but,
i'll get by.

the ceiling

because the war started on my 25th birthday...

i can't
breathe

my house has
divided against itself

my ceiling
is now
my floor

the cobweb i used to stare at
before i fell asleep
is now inches
from my nose

i can't see.
there's something
in my eye...

i can't hear my children
maybe they are finally
asleep.

none of us
have slept for years.

we cough
cry
laugh sometimes
but rarely sleep.

feast or famine
chaos or silence
our nerves are altered
deafened by necessity

isn't there only so much
a man can take?

i want to roll over
but there's the ceiling--
and something cramping
my thigh

no pain yet...
so i must be high on adrenaline
or losing blood...

i can see the
colors of aminah's favorite toy
in the corner

...oh, wait.
how'd the wall get back
the way it was?

never mind...just an illusion.

my prayer rug
is it still by the bed?

my wife should be home
in time for prayer.

she'll see the ceiling
and fuss
but
we must still
have prayer.

there is so much
to be
thankful
for...