return

this has been waiting
patiently
for me to sit still
and let it go...

to acknowledge
and name it
although
it defies description.

i could be staring down
the answers of a thousand prayers;

witnessing the drying
of an ocean's worth of tears...

it wants to be claimed.

i want to be sure.

need
to be sure.

grateful in the meantime,
fearful in the knowing:

love
might live here
again.

inhale/exhale

you found
a new way to hold me...
channeling the sun
to thaw my soul.

all that magic
in two hands
and a strong shoulder.

idea #23 - make a child smile.

:-)

perspective

just the other day
i was annoyed with my ass
even as i attempted to make peace with it
...as i do with any offending body part
or blemish.

during this latest
spontaneous reconstruction, 
it's shifted, somehow.  lost mass. 
not quite as high, i don't think
or full
for whatever reason...

never mind that
my hips remain wide as ever.

i take solace
in the pleasantly consistent jump
of my waistbeads
in motion,
but little else.

just as i'm wondering
what soul food miracle
will give me my booty back,
i happen to see him.

in greeting,
he playfully pinches
my disappointing ass
later, he kneads it
with both hands
and an appreciative exhale...

girl...mmm...

apparently he hasn't noticed
all these flaws
which makes me smile...

succumbing to sensation,
i file away my grievances
{for now}
and relax into his busy palms,
welcoming a smiling kiss.

a new season...

spring is coming...

she always brings hyperawareness;
a near constant state of arousal.

all my senses light up.
breezes feel like kisses;
i can smell the earth before/after the rain;
my heart blossoms with the tree buds;
the wind sounds different.

coats and clothing slowly thin out.

small pleasures include
a day without socks,
going to lunch without a jacket.

i've been blessed with deep, sweet love dreams
i revel in their deliciousness as i write them down...

i feel delicious
luscious
sweet
lusty
desiring...

something like
a perfect peach
waiting to be split open
inhaled
then devoured...

{he's gotta have a pretty mouth...}

of course,
summer is my true season.

but the prelude is nearly as nice.

omo oshun

sometimes i forget
that love will always bring me back to center...
fill the holes
mend what's broken
seal the cracks.

sweet scents.
shea butter rubdowns singing silent love notes to my body.
hot tea after a hot bath.
silk.
tracing the lines of my tattoos...remembering their intent.

love surrounds, protects, insulates me.
love is my guide, shield, weapon and light.

love guides my waters home
and water has no enemy.

ore yeye o

brimming abundance

"long as you have your voice...you'll never need arms to hold you..."
 ~esthero

i feel...full, self contained.
a world unto myself.
content as a well-fed child.

my entire emotional self seems to have shifted into some new phase of evolution.

although my loving, empathic spirit deeply fears loneliness in the long run, i have settled into the extraordinary power of this epiphany.

i can always share myself with the right person, but i will choose and determine the necessity of that sharing.

this is mine to know, to hold.

i am awake.

i have my voice.

pardon my shimmer...beautification in progress

having recently realized how deeply affected i am by beauty, i have decided to beautify my life.

i don’t mean this on a wholly superficial level, but more a project designed to entice and enhance the senses; indulge my sensual self with the goal of discovering my true loves, passions, desires, and needs.  it is also a means to spiritual symmetry and loveliness.

i am making an effort to dress in ways that are comfortable, yet flattering.  since i’ve (unintentionally) gone down about 1 size, i’m having to rediscover what fits, what doesn’t, how my body has reshaped itself.
    
i bought a lovely new journal on my birthday.  i’ve been carrying one kind of notebook or another with me daily for some time, scribbling thoughts and other things as they arise.  the new, beautified journal was part of a commitment to (a) buy no more anonymous, spiral notebooks and (b) no longer compartmentalize my thoughts/feelings/words (typically i’ll have the "daily" notebook, something for poetry, a diary for journaling, another for spiritual matters, etc.). 

the goal: regain my flow, let things spill out wherever they please. get messy.  become reacquainted with myself.

so don’t mind the extra honey and glitter sprinkled around wherever i may happen to be at any given moment.

i’m just working out a few minor details.

reality

i have a serious thing about fulfillment. i am not a pleasant person when i am unhappy or dissatisfied.

i don't expect to be free of desire, nor do i see the absence of desire as a natural state--unless your desire is warped into addiction.

if and when i begin to feel dissatisfied or distressed, i'm learning to shift reality, to make things look, sound and feel the way i want and expect them to.

i think people get caught up in understanding that process in a negative sense, i.e., you have to hurt or harm others to achieve that goal.

you don't.
you do not have to universally impose your will to achieve your bliss.

the universe has created a space for you--you do the work to find or open that space.

the need to bend others to your will is a sign of weakness and laziness. conquering isn't the same as mastering.

i don't need to make over anything not worth my ashe.

i voice the desire, i move towards the space.

the worlds of work and drudgery will never act as mother.

the earth and the universe will.