idea #41 - make a snowflake

here.

seasonal

for now, i feel open...like a screen door. air flows in and out at will, refreshing everything.

but a chill is slowly creeping in.  eventually i'll have to close the door, maybe build a fire or make a cup of tea to keep warm.

once i do, i'm wondering who i will want to stay inside with, weaving a double cocoon until spring reemerges...

trying

feeling dazed
uprooted

things are changing
moving
shifting
trying to keep up
stay focused

release
renew
restore

struggling to reemerge
even though i don't want to
it's safer, here.

but staying hidden won't help forever.

i'll find my way home
someday.

writers always have 99 problems

some time ago, i decided to write in real journals instead of plain spiral notebooks, as a way of respecting what i was doing and honoring my commitment to never deliberately stop writing again.*

problem is, i can't afford one of my nice, pretty journals right now.  it'll probably be another week or so before i can.  

yet, i'm running out of space in my current one.

being low on blank pages is quite aggravating.  trying to scribble freely while fearing that you'll run outta room simply doesn't work.  screws with the flow.

so the bottom line is that i haven't been writing much, and my brain's starting to feel clogged up.

still, if i start in one of the plain spiral notebooks, i'm gonna have to ride it out until it's full. i could paste the used pages in the new, pretty journal once i get it, but...eh.

decisions, decisions.


*long story

going in circles...

same old questions
that still don't have answers...

feeling frustrated
dissatisfied
under-accomplished
bored

is there a cure for this?

beautiful dreamer

i'm fascinated by this character...

the morlocks are/were also interesting in their role as the stepchildren of the mutant world.

i love the juxtaposition of those words...beautiful dreamer. used to use it as a sign-off for some writings over on myspace.

plus, i always figured that if i were a mutant, i'd have some sort of psionic power...

musing

candles and honey.

sandalwood-scented house under a full moon...

dreaming of new love as shakti dances up and down my spine...

let me...

let me
sleep
somewhere beautiful
tonight.

thought.

i love dew rainbows.

dewdrops already look like almost-microscopic universes.

the miracle of the sun's kiss forming dazzling little arrays of color is simply poetic.