the visions of the temples returned.
so many men, so many lifetimes.
again and again i was desired...sought after. sometimes loved.
the men were both redeemed and redeemers. no judgment of me, no pretense. only respect, pleasure.
i was so intertwined with them that solitude became sensual; an opportunity to rest firmly within my own body without calling on the Goddess to heal or consult. my personal space was more defined, more precious.
the adornments kept me in constant awareness of my movement. every step mattered, every gesture.
i walked in power.
i was a sacrifice, yes. but never a martyr. there was nothing pitiful or sad about my service.
this knowledge, these visions, are empowering and frustrating all at once. sexuality has been defiled and the spirit of woman stifled. now, offering my body as community property would be disastrous.
still, i am not "alone". my lovers live within me, and they are innumerable.
they hold me in the empty spaces...still praising, still grateful.