the ritual

they placed me on the altar...the tea they'd given me dulled my senses, made me sluggish and weary.

i snapped awake when i saw the knife hovering above my head, then my heart...

i begged them to spare me--anything but death. suddenly lucid, i wiggled my naked torso, struggling against the binding on my hands and feet, still begging, don't spill my blood...

an elder woman heard me and stopped the priest's hand. 

her will is strong, she said. if she does not want to die, she must be put on trial.



for a moment, i was relieved, which somehow strengthened the herbs and forced another swoon.  in another few minutes, clarity forced me to steel myself.  did this mean torture? more pain than death?  could i endure it if it meant life?

i heard the old priestess again: bring the fertility god's son. test her for xochiquetzal's service.

they think i'm hers? i thought. i couldn't believe it.  i was a true virgin...never in love or even lust. i hadn't even had a dream of being touched.

i looked down at the edge of the altar and saw the god's son there.  a decent enough face.  beautiful hair.  he was slowly untying my ankles.  i took another deep breath, searching for danger, aggression.  there was none, but the crowd's mood had changed...the moody reverence and sacrificial tension were gone.  there was something else in the air...

he mounted the altar--it was a large, stone rectangle covered in colorful mats with enough room for us both.  as he leaned over me, his loincloth shifted and i could see him dangling. not even aroused, he swung just below his balls.  i stifled a gasp, knowing a show of fear could mean certain death.

someone started a low song, almost a hum.

his smile was genuine, gentle.  he put one hand on my thigh and the other between them, then spread himself over me, placing light kisses on my neck and lips.  despite my fear, i took pleasure in the attention.  he groaned and lowered his hips; i felt him grow, but he didn't rush to enter me.  instead, he used his hand...

my back arched as his thick fingers broke my inner veil.  the pain was sharp; my head snapped forward in anger and surprise.  he smiled again, gave me a moment to recover before he came back for another kiss, whispering, i do not want to hurt you...i thought you were too beautiful for this fate. i hope you are who they think you are...

the song got louder. someone introduced an instrument.  i allowed the music to wash over me as he worked me with his hands.  my hips wiggled and swayed to his movements.  he started humming the song, too, just before he entered me...

he was fully erect, and large. i didn't think i could, but i expanded to greet him. my muscles ached as they reached for and clung to him.  now he was rhythmically pushing himself in and out of me, devouring my breasts.  as he sensed my wanting, some of his gentleness faded, but he still intended pleasure, not pain.

a chant started.  i felt air rush over me, then a woman's voice, laughing, like water. you are doing well. so well, daughter. let me teach you...

my lover was not himself now, moaning, chanting...his thrusts tied to the songs.  his god was taking over.  

free my hands! i demanded, startling myself.

the old priestess--where had the priest and his knife gone?--gleefully obeyed.  i wrapped my arms around my lover's shoulders, then held his face in my hands.  as i forced him to look into my eyes, he shuddered and a rush of warmth came out of his member and into my stomach.  the woman's voice grew louder. let it in...it is life. now, i will teach you pleasure. are you ready? she sounded like heat, good food, and the shimmer of gold in the sun. xochiquetzal, my savior. i couldn't refuse her.

my heart said, yes.

good. now, your lover has been fulfilled, but you have not.  the breeze crossed my shoulders again and i shuddered with desire. what will you do now, daughter?  my lover had moved off the altar, stumbling with the strength of his release.  the priestess stood by my head, awaiting orders.

i turned to her.  more, i said. give me more. please.

hai ai! she cried to the crowd.  the maiden is the chosen of xochiquetzal! she is asking for prayers...
 
one by one the men came.  i don't know how many. some merely whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek. i kissed them back to signify their pleas had been heard.  others imitated my first lover--some endured, most succumbed after a moment or two.  xochiquetzal showed me how and when to move, how to hold a gentle lover and a rough one.  i saw how the men glowed after they left me...drunk with sweetness, their lust tempered to healing love.

but even after all that, i was not satisfied.  the pleasure had gathered in my spine and tightened my shoulders. my clitoris vibrated like hummingbird wings. my thighs were slick with my water and the lifeseed of my lovers. in that moment, i knew i would soon grow larger, eventually bearing my own precious life.

my final partner approached the altar, asking me to sit over him instead of positioning me on my back or my stomach. he was older, but not yet an elder.  i moved aside so his back rested on the altar. his member rose to greet me, and i sat upon him.   

now you will know, daughter...

as we began, i noted the new sensations.  i controlled his movement, not the other way around.  he prayed with true reverence, praising the goddess' beauty and power. grant me good, long life. it is always you i praise...favor me, wonderful one...

the sincerity of his prayers deepened his pleasure, and mine. i lost control.  his hands found my hips, and i tossed my head back, losing myself in the loving and the possession. i felt my hair tickle my ass.
 
the pleasure started slowly...my spine released its tension into my hips, and i rode him, hard.  he didn't move to stop me, just closed his eyes and breathed deeply, inviting my fire.  it moved up through my heart, hardening my nipples. blood rushed to my throat, and i let out a roar that shook my entire body.  only then did his seed reach me.  thank you, thank you, thank you, he moaned.  it became a chant...

finally, my shaking stopped and the waves of ecstasy ebbed. the goddess left me, saying, rest, now. you are saved.

i collapsed onto the altar into the arms of women--how many, i couldn't say.  their hands were cold next to my feverish skin.

all of a sudden, my body was my own again.  i ached everywhere. i carried my lovers with me; still sensing their fullness and their need. i mumbled incoherent prayers for them... 

i let the women carry me...they cooed and prayed, complimenting my grace and power.

the memories are hazy after that.  i know a poultice of cool leaves and herbs was placed over my hips and gently tucked between my thighs. later, a warm bath in sweetwater and flower petals. 

i awoke in a room not my own, with flowers in my hair and gold around my wrists and ankles.  i thought i saw golden butterflies flying around me...

sleep now, daughter, and heed your dreams. your training begins tomorrow...but you will not be bothered tonight. a warm, phantom kiss landed on my forehead.  sleep, dearest...