thought

i am reading my own scriptures.

almost-tanka

this relationship
illuminated my gift
for creation: if
i did not create it, it
did not exist.

let me...

let me
sleep
somewhere beautiful
tonight.

wondering...

...if there's an island deep in the south pacific where black women's dreams come true.

it's gotta happen somewhere, right?

prayer to oshun

{shared by oyin}

Give birth to the world, River.
Give birth to the world, Running Stream.

We beg to be full, we beg to be full, we beg to be full.

Teach the head, teach the head, teach the head,
Embrace the head of mothers, make them wise again, wise again, wise again.
Teach the tradition to those who do not know.
Open your arms to women that flee to safety.

My mother, I pay respect, I pay respect, I pay respect.

We shout to your ear, mother.
Come continually mother, be patient and understand us.

Teach worthiness as we honor you on the ground.
We honor you on the ground, we honor you on the ground, we honor you on the ground.
Let our deeds of charity habitually pull you.

My mother, house of tradition.
Queen of the mirror, Queen of Dance,
Queen of Abundance, Queen of Joy, Queen of Health.
My wealth arrives, my wealth arrives, my wealth arrives.

Mother arise, Arise inside of us.
Arise inside, arise inside, arise inside.
Teach us to have understanding.
Help us to be revered Ancestors.

We humble ourselves before you.
You, who give effective treatment to children.
You, who give fertility to people and projects.
You, who are Queen of the river.

Osun, come into my house. Osun, come into my house. Osun, come into my house.

Prayer taken from traditional sources including: The Handbook of Yoruba Religious Concepts, by Baba Ifa Karade, Samuel Weiser, Inc., York Beach, ME, 1994 and John Mason, Orin Ori, Yoruba Theological Archministry, Broolyn, NY, 1992.

homecoming

i have journeyed back to the deep darkness
the blackness of the womb;
inky nothingness of space...

the beginning.

relegated to the Source:
She who loves Her sons
but gives Her daughters Her secrets;
She's implanted them in our
hearts
spirits
songs we hum as dish-washing soundtracks
knit into sweaters
slide into soup spoons as we stir
watch
wait...

whenever we return,
She asks, "who has harmed you?
and where can I find one so foolish?"

because we give thanks when we are far from home
(She's adept at feeding us from great distances;
we are meant to travel far)
but rarely do we return unless broken.

hearing Her voice, we cease being strong--
if we haven't already--
and pour out our hearts to Her;
we linger, enjoying Mama's bosom,
delighting in Her love
until we are ready to travel again.

we always leave bearing gifts
grander than the ones we gave,
smiling sweetly...sometimes still weeping.
but encouraged, strengthened...

and well aware
that our gracious, wondrous Mother
suffers no fools.

trying to remember...

who i was
who i am
my reality
what i want
my visions
where i'm going
what brings me joy
my smile
my desire
my reason for reincarnating

my dreams
my prayers

my voice...

full

{birthed jan. 2006}

he says i'm full lately...
becoming womanly.
i feel
big
heavy with creativity
universes
potentialities.

my babies
lack physical manifestation--
i bear lyrical children
foster positive living environments for metaphors
carry messages on my hips
diplomatically translated
by my inbetween.

i am
more woman now
no need to roar...
returning to the comfort
of womb whispers
and peacock feathers.

my weapons:
earth tones
headwraps
and bluejeans.

call me boho if u wanna
i was who i was
when erykah wasn't on the radar yet
and india was stll singin in coffeeshops

...hoppin planets
just for fun
ain't too much in my line of sight
worthy of keeping me grounded.

dreams reflected
in diamond sutras
and wide-ruled notebooks...
don't care if you think
i'm perpetuating bullshit
goddess/empress/queen images
unrealistic pussy powers.

complexity is my birthright.

why perpetuate mediocrity?
inferiority?

i am made in the image of
god
ancestors
africans
angels

who are you keeping alive?

i am
more woman now
heavy
heavy
heavy...

i am
due
today.

the longing

what follows is a freewrite/stream of consciousness.

i shared it with some close friends a little over a year ago and just re-discovered it. i am releasing it now, slightly edited, because it is still true; because these holes are still deep, aching and open.

because the release is the only thing that has ever truly soothed my soul.  because there are many days when honesty and transparency are all i have.

because my soul is not satisfied.

chant

you don't have to love me
just love my body
need me
like water
like water
drippin' like water

drink me
there is enough to quench any thirst
you've ever had

tease me
please me
please
i won't beg
...much more

gimme
gimme
gimme more
savory kisses 
sweet tongue flicks
turn sentences into stutters
with naughty whispered words

use me
for good or ill

all is fair, here, love

you don't have to love me
don't have to love me
just
need me
savor me
drink me
like water...